How to ask for postpartum help

Starting a conversation about postpartum help  and expectations with friends and family can be awkward for new parents. It's a time when support and assistance are greatly appreciated, but often, new parents may not know what they’ll need or how to ask for it. You may have lots of loved ones eager to snuggle your new baby, but quickly learn that you’d rather have help with daily tasks instead. My general rule for my clients is very simple: anyone who wants to hold the baby earns that snuggle with a chore. Full stop. While it can be uncomfortable to ask for help or to set boundaries, initiating this discussion with loved ones in advance can make all the difference in getting the help and comfort you need during this huge life transition. And if all else fails, stick this list on your fridge and hope they take the hint!

Here's a list of chores and helpful activities that postpartum visitors can assist with to support you. After they’ve done something helpful and you’re feeling up to it, hand the baby over for snuggles so you can nap, shower, or do something to care for yourself (chores don’t count!!).

POSTPARTUM CHORE LIST

Meal preparation: Prepare and freeze meals, or cook fresh, nutritious meals for the new parents. Pick up takeout. Wash and prep containers of fresh fruits and veggies. Stock the fridge or pantry with one handed snacks to eat while nursing.

Cleaning: Load, run, and unload the dishwasher. Vacuum and sweep the floors. Take out the trash. Clean bathrooms. Change linens and make the bed extra cozy.

Shopping: Pick up groceries, diapers, and other essentials.

Laundry: Help with washing, folding, and putting away laundry.

Pet care: Walk, feed, groom or bathe, pick up supplies, give extra snuggles and love.

Errands: Pick up prescriptions, return packages, offer to transport older children to school or activities.

Household organization: Assist with organizing baby supplies and nursery items.

Yard work: Help with lawn mowing, raking, snow shoveling, gardening, or outdoor chores.

Light maintenance: Fix minor household issues or perform simple repairs.

Assist with older siblings: If there are older children, engage them in activities or help with their care. Bonus points for getting them out of the house to do something fun! Help with bedtime. Prepare and supervise meals. Read books. Supervise and clean up after art projects. Take them outside to play!